What the Bible Says About Revenge and Forgiveness
Someone cuts you off in traffic, and your blood boils. A coworker takes credit for your idea at the meeting. Your friend betrays your trust. A family member says something cruel that cuts deep.
In those moments, something primal rises up inside us. We want them to know what they did. We want them to feel what we felt. We want—let’s be honest—revenge.
And that desire? It’s completely human.
But if you’re a Christian trying to live by biblical principles, you’ve probably noticed that wanting revenge and following Jesus don’t exactly line up. The tension is real, and it’s uncomfortable.
So what does the Bible actually say about revenge? And more importantly, how are we supposed to handle it when every fiber of our being wants to strike back?
The Revenge Impulse Is Normal (But So Is the Call to Something Higher)
Let’s start here: wanting revenge doesn’t make you a bad Christian. It makes you human.
When someone wrongs us, our sense of justice kicks in. We want balance restored. We want the scales evened out. That’s hardwired into us, and honestly, there’s nothing wrong with wanting justice.
The problem is when we try to become the judge, jury, and executioner.
The Bible acknowledges this tension throughout Scripture. The writers don’t pretend revenge isn’t tempting. Instead, they address it head-on because they knew—just like we know—how powerful that urge can be.
Even David, described as a man after God’s own heart, struggled with enemies and the desire for vindication. His psalms are raw and honest about these feelings.
What Scripture Actually Says About Revenge
Let’s look at what the Bible tells us, starting with one of the clearest statements on the topic:
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” — Romans 12:19 (NIV)
This verse doesn’t say revenge is wrong because justice is wrong. It says revenge is God’s job, not ours.
Think about that for a second. God isn’t asking us to pretend justice doesn’t matter. He’s asking us to trust that He will handle it—and handle it better than we ever could.
Paul continues in the very next verse with something even more radical:
“On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.'” — Romans 12:20 (NIV)
Then there’s Jesus, who takes it even further in the Sermon on the Mount:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” — Matthew 5:38-39 (NIV)
This one’s hard. Really hard.
Jesus isn’t advocating for being a doormat or staying in abusive situations. He’s challenging the entire revenge mentality. He’s saying, “What if you didn’t retaliate at all? What if you responded with something completely unexpected?”
The Old Testament wisdom literature echoes this:
“Do not say, ‘I’ll do to them as they have done to me; I’ll pay them back for what they did.'” — Proverbs 20:22 (NIV)
And here’s another gem from Proverbs:
“Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice.” — Proverbs 24:17 (NIV)
Notice the pattern? Scripture consistently redirects us away from personal vengeance and toward trust in God’s justice.
Why Does God Ask This of Us?
Here’s where it gets interesting. God isn’t asking us to give up revenge just to make life harder. There are actually profound reasons behind this command.
1. Revenge keeps us trapped.
When we hold onto the desire for revenge, we stay emotionally bound to the person who hurt us. They continue to control our thoughts, our mood, our energy. Letting go isn’t about them—it’s about freeing ourselves.
As Psychology Today notes, forgiveness is strongly associated with better mental health outcomes, including reduced anxiety and depression.
2. We don’t have the full picture.
We see one moment, one interaction, one hurt. God sees the entire story—the person’s past, their pain, their struggles, and yes, their judgment day. Our perspective is limited. His isn’t.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” — Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)
3. Revenge escalates.
One strike leads to a counterstrike, which leads to another. History is full of blood feuds that started with one perceived wrong and spiraled into generations of violence. Someone has to break the cycle, and God asks us to be that someone.
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” — Romans 12:21 (NIV)
4. Forgiveness reflects God’s character.
We’ve been forgiven for so much. How can we receive God’s grace and then withhold it from others?
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” — Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
Jesus made this connection explicit in the Lord’s Prayer:
“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” — Matthew 6:12 (NIV)
And then He emphasized it immediately after:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” — Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)
That’s sobering.
But What About Justice?
Here’s the question that always comes up: If we don’t seek revenge, does that mean wrongdoing just gets a pass?
Not at all.
The Bible distinguishes between personal revenge and legitimate justice through proper channels. Romans 13 talks about governing authorities being “God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.”
“For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.” — Romans 13:4 (NIV)
There’s a difference between:
- Seeking personal revenge (forbidden)
- Pursuing justice through proper legal or institutional means (appropriate)
- Setting boundaries to protect yourself (necessary)
- Expecting accountability (healthy)
God opposes personal vengeance, not justice itself. In fact, He cares deeply about justice—He just asks us to pursue it the right way. The Bible Project has an excellent exploration of biblical justice versus human revenge.
How Do We Actually Live This Out?
Knowing what the Bible says is one thing. Actually doing it when you’re hurt and angry? That’s another level entirely.
Here are some practical steps that have helped me and others navigate this:
Acknowledge the hurt. Don’t spiritualize away your pain. Feel it. Name it. Bring it to God honestly. The Psalms are full of raw, unfiltered emotions—God can handle yours too.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
Separate justice from revenge. Ask yourself: Do I want accountability, or do I want them to suffer? One is healthy, the other keeps you in bondage.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” — Ephesians 4:31 (NIV)
Give it time. Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time decision. Some days you’ll feel more forgiving than others, and that’s okay. Keep choosing to release it, even when you have to do it again tomorrow.
Research from the Mayo Clinic confirms that forgiveness is a process that takes time and intentional effort.
Pray for them (even if you don’t feel like it). This is Jesus’s specific instruction:
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” — Matthew 5:44-45 (NIV)
It’s nearly impossible to keep hating someone you’re genuinely praying for. Try it—it’s weirdly effective.
Remember you’re not condoning their behavior. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It means you’re choosing not to let it define your future.
Trust God’s justice. This is the hardest part. Believing that God sees, God knows, and God will make things right in His way and His timing requires serious faith. But it’s also where freedom lives.
“Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” — Genesis 18:25 (NIV)
The answer, of course, is yes. Always yes.
The Surprising Freedom of Letting Go
Here’s what I’ve learned: Revenge promises satisfaction but delivers emptiness. It tells us we’ll feel better once we’ve evened the score, but that moment of satisfaction is fleeting—and it usually leaves us feeling worse.
Forgiveness, on the other hand, promises nothing except obedience to God. But what it delivers is something revenge can never give: freedom.
Freedom from the constant mental replay of what happened. Freedom from the bitterness that poisons everything else in your life. Freedom from being emotionally controlled by someone who hurt you.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” — Galatians 5:1 (NIV)
When you choose forgiveness, you’re not saying the wrong didn’t matter. You’re saying it won’t own you anymore.
The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley has documented extensive research showing that forgiveness leads to improved physical health, better relationships, and greater overall well-being.
A Final Thought
I won’t pretend this is easy. Some hurts are deep. Some wrongs feel unforgivable. Some people never apologize, never change, never even acknowledge what they did.
But the call to forgiveness isn’t dependent on their response. It’s about our obedience to God and our own freedom.
The Bible is clear: revenge belongs to God, and forgiveness belongs to us. Not because we’re doormats, but because we’re children of a God who forgave us first.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)
The question isn’t whether they deserve forgiveness. The question is whether we want to be free.
And freedom, it turns out, is found in the most unlikely place—in letting go.
For further reading on biblical forgiveness, I recommend:
- Got Questions: What does the Bible say about revenge?
- Desiring God: Vengeance is Mine, I Will Repay
- The Gospel Coalition: The Freedom of Forgiveness
