Listening is the doorway through which understanding walks in

RICHARD: Welcome back to Single and Blooming, where we have honest conversations about walking in purity, trusting God’s timing, and living your best life while single. I’m your host, Richard, and today I have someone special joining us. Her name is Paula—she’s a firebrand Christian, a successful career woman, and she’s been intentionally single while building her life and her faith. Paula, welcome to the show!

PAULA: Thank you so much for having me, Richard! I’m excited to be here.

RICHARD: I’m pumped about this conversation. So Paula, let’s jump right in. The title of today’s episode is “Waiting Not Wasting.” That’s powerful. What does that mean to you?

PAULA: You know, for the longest time, I felt like my singleness was this holding pattern—like I was just sitting on the sidelines waiting for my real life to begin when I got married. But one day, God showed me something through Ecclesiastes 3:1: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” And I realized—this is my season. I’m not waiting for my life to start. I’m living it right now.

Waiting not wasting means I refuse to put my dreams, my purpose, my growth on hold just because I’m not married yet. God has given me this season to build, to create, to serve, and to become. And I’m going to steward it well.

RICHARD: I love that perspective. So many singles feel like they’re in limbo, but you’re saying this season has purpose.

PAULA: Absolutely. And honestly, Richard, I’ve accomplished things in my singleness that I probably wouldn’t have been able to do if I were married with kids right now. I’ve advanced in my career, traveled, served in ministry, invested in friendships. This season isn’t less than—it’s just different.

RICHARD: That’s a powerful reframe. Now, you mentioned you’re a career woman. Talk to me about that. How do you balance ambition and faith? Because some people think Christian women should just be waiting to be wives and mothers.

PAULA: [laughs] Yeah, I’ve heard that before. Look, I have zero issue with women who feel called to be stay-at-home wives and mothers—that’s beautiful and valid. But that’s not my only identity, and it shouldn’t be any woman’s only option.

Proverbs 31 talks about the virtuous woman, and she’s not just sitting around. She’s working, she’s entrepreneurial, she’s contributing to her household and her community. Verse 16 says, “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.” That woman is about her business!

God gave me gifts, talents, and a brain. And I believe He expects me to use them. So I work hard. I excel in my career. And I do it all for His glory, not just for a paycheck. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” That’s my motto.

RICHARD: That’s so good. So your career isn’t competing with your faith—it’s an expression of it.

PAULA: Exactly. And here’s the thing—when I do get married, if that’s God’s plan, I’ll be bringing something to the table. I won’t be looking for a man to complete me or fund my dreams. I’ll be a partner, not a project.

RICHARD: Wow. Okay, let’s talk about the practical side of this journey. You’re a successful, attractive woman navigating the corporate world. How do you handle temptation? Because I imagine you’ve had opportunities to compromise.

PAULA: Oh, Richard, let me tell you—the opportunities are real. I work in a male-dominated industry, and I’ve had my share of flirtation, advances, and tempting situations. But I made a decision early on: I will not compromise my purity for temporary pleasure or career advancement.

James 1:14-15 says, “Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” I’ve seen too many women—Christian women—fall into workplace affairs or situationships because they were lonely or flattered. And it always ends badly.

RICHARD: So how do you protect yourself?

PAULA: Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. I don’t go to happy hour alone with male colleagues. I don’t have personal conversations with men who aren’t accountability partners or family. I’m friendly, but I’m not flirty. And if I sense someone crossing a line, I shut it down immediately—politely but firmly.

I also keep myself accountable. I have a group of girlfriends—women who love Jesus and aren’t afraid to call me out. We text each other, pray together, and check in regularly. When I’m feeling weak or vulnerable, I reach out to them instead of entertaining nonsense.

RICHARD: Accountability is so key. Now let’s talk about the harder part—what about sexual temptation? How do you deal with your own desires when you’re not married?

PAULA: Okay, let’s be real. I’m human. I have desires. And some days are harder than others. But here’s what I’ve learned: my body is not my own. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

That verse changed everything for me. When I’m tempted, I remind myself—this body belongs to God. I can’t just do whatever feels good in the moment. There are consequences, and more importantly, there’s a higher calling.

RICHARD: That’s powerful. But practically, what do you do when temptation hits?

PAULA: First, I don’t put myself in compromising situations. I don’t watch certain shows or movies that stir things up unnecessarily. I’m careful about what I read, what I listen to, and who I spend time with.

Second, I stay busy. An idle mind is dangerous. When I’m focused on my work, my ministry, my hobbies, I don’t have time to sit around fantasizing about what I’m missing.

Third—and this is big—I’ve learned to redirect that energy. When I feel desire rising, instead of trying to suppress it or act on it, I channel it into something productive. I work out. I write. I worship. I create.

And honestly? I pray. I tell God, “I’m struggling right now. Help me.” And He does. Every single time.

RICHARD: That’s real. I appreciate your honesty. Now, let’s talk about loneliness. Because I know career success doesn’t eliminate loneliness. How do you handle those moments when you come home to an empty apartment and wonder if anyone even cares?

PAULA: [pauses] Yeah, that hits. I’m not gonna lie—there are nights when I’m lying in bed and I feel it. The silence. The emptiness. And I wonder, “God, did You forget about me?”

But here’s what I’ve come to understand: loneliness isn’t solved by a relationship. It’s solved by connection—with God and with people. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God sees me. He knows me. And He’s with me even when I feel alone.

I also had to get intentional about building community. I joined a women’s Bible study. I invested in friendships. I mentor younger women. I show up for people, and they show up for me. Community doesn’t just happen—you have to create it.

RICHARD: So you’re saying you fight loneliness by being proactive, not passive.

PAULA: Exactly. Loneliness loves isolation. So I refuse to isolate. Even when I don’t feel like it, I push myself to connect. I call a friend. I go to church. I serve. And slowly, that loneliness loses its grip.

RICHARD: That’s wisdom right there. Now, Paula, I have to ask—how do you view marriage at this point in your journey? Are you still open to it, or have you just written it off?

PAULA: Oh, I’m absolutely still open to it. I haven’t become bitter or jaded. I believe God can do exceedingly abundantly above all I could ask or imagine, according to Ephesians 3:20. So if marriage is part of His plan, I trust Him to bring the right man at the right time.

But here’s the shift—I’m not desperate for it anymore. I used to think I needed marriage to be happy or complete. Now I know that’s a lie. Jesus completes me. Marriage would be a blessing, an addition, but it’s not my salvation.

RICHARD: So you’re content but not closed off.

PAULA: Exactly. Philippians 4:11-12 says, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.” I’ve learned to be content in my singleness while remaining open to what God has next.

And I’ll tell you this—I refuse to settle. I’m not going to marry someone just because I’m tired of being single. I’d rather be single and at peace than married and miserable. I’m waiting for a man who loves God more than he loves me, who leads with integrity, and who sees me as a partner, not a trophy or a project.

RICHARD: Yes! Don’t settle. That’s so important. So what are you doing in the meantime to prepare for marriage—if it comes?

PAULA: Great question. I’m working on myself. I’m healing from past hurts. I’m learning to communicate better, to be more patient, to submit to God’s authority so I can one day submit to a husband’s leadership. I’m managing my finances well. I’m learning to cook [laughs]—because I used to live on takeout.

But most importantly, I’m deepening my relationship with God. Because if I don’t know how to be loved by Him, I won’t know how to receive love from a man. And if I don’t know how to trust Him, I won’t know how to trust a spouse.

RICHARD: That’s beautiful. You’re becoming the woman your future husband will need.

PAULA: And if there’s no future husband, I’m becoming the woman I need to be to live out God’s purpose for my life. Either way, I win.

RICHARD: Wow. Paula, before we wrap up, what would you say to a woman listening right now who feels like her life is on pause because she’s single? What encouragement would you give her?

PAULA: I’d say this: Stop waiting for your life to start and start living the life God has given you right now. Your singleness is not a mistake. It’s not a punishment. It’s a season with its own purpose, its own beauty, and its own opportunities.

Don’t waste it wishing you were somewhere else. Invest in yourself. Build your career. Serve God. Travel. Create. Dream. Become the woman God created you to be.

And remember—your worth is not determined by a ring on your finger. You are a daughter of the King. You are loved. You are chosen. You are enough. Right now. Just as you are.

Isaiah 43:4 says, “You are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you.” God said that to you. Believe it. Walk in it. And watch how your life transforms.

RICHARD: Paula, that was powerful. Thank you so much for being vulnerable, for sharing your journey, and for speaking truth today. You’ve encouraged so many people.

PAULA: Thank you for having me, Richard. This was amazing.

RICHARD: Alright, everyone, that’s a wrap on today’s episode of Single and Blooming. If Paula’s story resonated with you, share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it. Remember: you’re not wasting time—you’re investing in your purpose. Stay rooted, stay focused, and keep blooming.

We’ll catch you next week with another inspiring conversation. Until then, stay blessed, stay pure, and keep thriving.

EPISODE NOTES:

• Key Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 3:1, Proverbs 31:16, Colossians 3:23, James 1:14-15, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Psalm 147:3, Ephesians 3:20, Philippians 4:11-12, Isaiah 43:4
• Paula’s Keys: Boundaries, accountability, community, purpose-driven living, refusing to settle