Listening is the doorway through which understanding walks in

RICHARD: Welcome back to Single and Blooming, the podcast where we have real conversations about walking in purity, trusting God’s timing, and thriving—not just surviving—in your season of singleness. I’m your host, Richard, and today we have an incredible guest with us. His name is Edward, and he’s been navigating Christian singleness with intentionality for the past four years. Edward, welcome to the show!

EDWARD: Thanks for having me, Richard! I’m excited to be here.

RICHARD: Man, I’m excited to dive into your story. Four years is significant. A lot of people struggle to stay committed for four months, let alone four years. So let’s start here—what made you decide to commit to this journey of intentional Christian singleness?

EDWARD: Honestly, Richard, it wasn’t some grand, spiritual moment. I had just come out of a relationship that wasn’t honoring God, and I was exhausted. I realized I kept looking for someone to complete me instead of letting God fill that space. So I made a decision: I was going to press pause on dating and pursue God with everything I had. I told Him, “If You want me married, You’re going to have to bring her. But until then, I’m Yours completely.”

RICHARD: I love that. That surrender is so important. Now, the title of today’s episode is “Alone But Not Lonely.” That’s a powerful distinction. Can you break that down for us? What’s the difference?

EDWARD: Yeah, so being alone is a physical reality—you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have someone texting you goodnight, you’re doing life solo. But loneliness? That’s a heart condition. And here’s what I discovered: you can be in a relationship and still feel lonely. Loneliness happens when you feel disconnected from purpose, from people, and most importantly, from God.

The Bible says in Psalm 68:6, “God sets the lonely in families.” I used to think that meant He’d give me a wife, but then I realized—He’s already given me a family. The body of Christ. Community. Purpose. Once I stopped isolating myself and started investing in relationships with my church family, that loneliness started to fade.

RICHARD: That’s powerful. So you’re saying loneliness isn’t solved by a relationship—it’s solved by connection with God and community?

EDWARD: Exactly. I had to learn that Jesus is enough. Not Jesus plus a girlfriend. Not Jesus plus marriage. Just Jesus. When I truly believed that, everything shifted.

RICHARD: Amen. Let’s talk about the practical side of this. Four years is a long time. How do you keep yourself from loneliness on those hard nights when you’re scrolling through Instagram and everyone’s posting couple photos? What do you do?

EDWARD: Man, those nights are real. I’m not gonna lie—there are moments when I feel it creeping in. But I’ve built some rhythms that keep me grounded. First, I had to get ruthless about what I allow into my mind. Philippians 4:8 says, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure… think about such things.” So I stopped consuming content that made me feel like I was missing out. I unfollowed accounts that triggered comparison. I stopped binge-watching romantic movies that made me feel incomplete.

Instead, I fill that space with worship, podcasts like this one, and Scripture. I also keep a gratitude journal. Every night before bed, I write down three things I’m thankful for in my singleness. It might sound simple, but it shifts your perspective.

RICHARD: I love that. Gratitude is such a weapon against discontent. Now let’s talk about temptation—because that’s the elephant in the room. How do you stay pure when you’re dealing with real desires and you’re not married? What’s your secret?

EDWARD: Yeah, let’s go there. First off, I don’t believe in secrets—I believe in systems. You can’t fight temptation with willpower alone. You need structure.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

So I asked myself: what are my “ways out”? For me, it’s accountability. I have two brothers in Christ who check in on me weekly. They ask me the hard questions: “What are you watching? Who are you texting? How’s your thought life?” And I’m honest with them.

I also had to set boundaries with my phone. I don’t scroll late at night. I use apps that block certain content. And when temptation hits, I literally get up and move. I go for a run, I call a friend, I worship. I don’t sit there and try to white-knuckle it.

RICHARD: That’s so practical. You’re saying temptation isn’t a solo fight—you need brothers to walk with you.

EDWARD: Absolutely. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” You can’t do this alone. Isolation is where the enemy wins.

RICHARD: Powerful. Let’s shift to your relationship with God. You mentioned earlier that this journey started with surrender. How has your prayer life and fasting played a role in sustaining you over these four years?

EDWARD: Man, prayer and fasting have been my lifeline. In Matthew 6:6, Jesus says, “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.” I take that seriously. I have a morning routine where I spend at least 30 minutes in prayer before I do anything else. I talk to God like He’s my best friend—because He is.

And fasting? That’s been a game-changer. Once a month, I do a 24-hour fast where I just seek God’s face. I pour out my heart—my frustrations, my desires, my questions. And every single time, He meets me there. Fasting breaks the noise and helps me hear His voice clearly.

There was a season where I was really struggling with loneliness, and during a three-day fast, God spoke to me through Isaiah 54:5: “For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is His name.” That wrecked me in the best way. I realized I was looking for a human to do what only God could do.

RICHARD: Wow. That verse hits different when you’re single. So fasting isn’t just about discipline—it’s about drawing near to God?

EDWARD: Exactly. James 4:8 says, “Come near to God and He will come near to you.” Fasting is my way of saying, “God, I want You more than I want comfort, more than I want food, more than I want a relationship.”

RICHARD: Beautiful. Now, you mentioned earlier that you’ve committed yourself to the work of God. What does that look like practically? How has serving kept you focused?

EDWARD: Serving has been huge. When you’re single, it’s easy to become self-focused—obsessing over when you’ll meet someone, why it hasn’t happened yet. But when you’re serving, you’re living for something bigger than yourself.

I volunteer with the youth ministry at my church, and honestly, those kids have taught me so much about faith and joy. I also lead a small group for single men where we study Scripture and hold each other accountable. And I serve on the hospitality team on Sundays.

Here’s the thing: when you’re busy building God’s kingdom, you don’t have time to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. And more importantly, you start to see your singleness as an asset, not a liability. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 talks about how singles can be devoted to the Lord’s affairs without distraction. That’s a gift, not a curse.

RICHARD: That reframe is so important. Your singleness isn’t something to escape—it’s something to steward.

EDWARD: Exactly. And when you steward it well, you become the kind of person God can trust with more—including a spouse, if that’s His plan.

RICHARD: Edward, I’ve got to ask you this because I know people listening are wondering—after four years of intentional singleness, what’s your plan for marriage? Are you actively pursuing it, or are you just waiting for it to fall from the sky?

EDWARD: [laughs] Yeah, that’s a fair question. Look, I’m not sitting around waiting for some miraculous encounter where my future wife just appears out of nowhere. That’s not how God usually works. But I’m also not out here frantically searching or forcing things to happen.

Here’s my approach: I’m preparing, not pursuing. What I mean is, I’m becoming the man I need to be so that when God brings the right woman into my life, I’m ready. I’m working on my character, my finances, my relationship with God, my emotional health. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Notice it says finds—not chases desperately or manipulates.

RICHARD: So you’re positioning yourself, basically.

EDWARD: Exactly. I’m staying involved in my church community, serving, being visible. I’m not hiding in my apartment. I’m living my life fully. And I’ve told God, “If marriage is part of Your plan for me, I trust You to orchestrate it. But I’m not going to compromise or settle just because I’m tired of waiting.”

I’ve also been specific in prayer. I pray for my future wife—whoever she is, wherever she is. I pray that God is preparing her heart the same way He’s preparing mine. And I pray for wisdom to recognize her when the time comes.

RICHARD: That’s mature, man. So you’re not passive, but you’re not anxious either.

EDWARD: Right. I’m actively becoming, but I’m patiently trusting. And honestly? If God calls me to lifelong singleness, I’m learning to be okay with that too. Because my joy isn’t dependent on a relationship status—it’s rooted in Christ. Whatever He decides is best for me, I’m all in.

RICHARD: That’s the kind of surrender that changes everything. Man, I appreciate your honesty.

RICHARD: So good. Edward, as we start to wrap up, I want to ask you this: what would you say to someone listening right now who’s in year one or year two of this journey and they’re already feeling burned out? What encouragement would you give them?

EDWARD: I’d say this: don’t despise the season you’re in. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” This season isn’t punishment—it’s preparation. God is doing something in you that He can only do in this season.

And remember, you’re not waiting for your life to start when you meet someone. Your life is happening right now. Don’t put it on hold. Travel. Dream. Serve. Grow. Become the person God created you to be. And if marriage is in His plan, when it comes, you’ll be ready—not desperate.

Also, fix your eyes on Jesus. Hebrews 12:2 says to “fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” He’s the prize. Everything else—marriage, relationships—is secondary.

RICHARD: That’s a word. Edward, before we close, what’s one practical tip you’d give someone struggling with loneliness this week?

EDWARD: Get around people. Seriously. Text someone and grab coffee. Join a small group. Volunteer somewhere. Loneliness thrives in isolation, but it can’t survive in community. And if you don’t have community, ask God to lead you to it. He will.

RICHARD: Amen. Edward, thank you so much for being transparent, for sharing your journey, and for encouraging us today. You’ve given us so much to chew on.

EDWARD: Thanks for having me, Richard. This was awesome.

RICHARD: Alright, everyone, that’s a wrap on today’s episode of Single and Blooming. If Edward’s story encouraged you, do me a favor—share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it. Remember: you’re not just waiting. You’re blooming. Stay rooted in Christ, stay connected to community, and keep trusting God’s timing. We’ll catch you next week with another powerful conversation.

Until then, stay blessed, stay pure, and keep blooming.